Feelings First: Building Social Emotional Skills in the Early Years

Competency III: Supporting social and emotional development and providing positive guidance

Before Children Can Learn, They Must Feel Safe

Long before children master letters and numbers, they are learning something even more foundational. They are learning how to understand their feelings, express their needs, build relationships, and manage frustration.

Social emotional development is not an extra part of early childhood education. It is the foundation.

CDA Competency Standard III focuses on supporting social and emotional development and providing positive guidance. This competency reminds us that teaching is not only about instruction. It is about connection.

Teaching Emotional Literacy from the Start

Emotional literacy begins when children learn to name what they feel.

When educators intentionally use language such as:

• “You look frustrated.”

• “I see you are excited.”

• “It seems like you feel disappointed.”

Children begin to connect emotions to words. Over time, this builds self awareness and confidence.

Emotional literacy supports:

• Stronger communication skills

• Reduced challenging behaviors

• Greater empathy toward others

• Improved self regulation

When children can name their feelings, they are better able to manage them.

Positive Guidance Builds Confidence

Competency III emphasizes positive guidance rather than punishment.

Positive guidance means:

• Redirecting behavior instead of shaming

• Teaching problem solving instead of assigning blame

• Modeling calm responses during conflict

• Setting clear, consistent expectations

Young children are still developing impulse control and emotional regulation. Our role is not to demand perfection. It is to teach skills.

When guidance is respectful and consistent, children learn that mistakes are opportunities to grow.

Creating Emotionally Safe Learning Environments

Children thrive in classrooms where they feel valued and understood.

Emotionally safe environments include:

• Predictable routines

• Calm and consistent adult responses

• Spaces for quiet reflection or regulation

• Opportunities for cooperative play

When children feel secure, they are more willing to take healthy risks in learning and relationships.

The Power of Books in Social Emotional Growth

Stories help children explore feelings in safe and meaningful ways.

Through books, children:

• See characters experience big emotions

• Learn how problems are resolved

• Build empathy by seeing different perspectives

• Explore identity and belonging

Books open conversations about fear, anger, kindness, friendship, and perseverance.

Intentional educators select books that reflect diverse experiences and provide opportunities for discussion about emotions and relationships.

Resource Collection Spotlight: What Competency III Requires

For CDA candidates, Competency III includes one required Resource Collection item:

RC III: A Bibliography of Ten Developmentally Appropriate Children’s Books

Candidates must compile a list of ten children’s books that support social and emotional development.

The bibliography should:

• Include the book title and author

• Be appropriate for the age group served

• Support emotional literacy, identity, relationships, or positive behavior

It is important that your selected books reflect your classroom, your children, and your teaching philosophy. The goal is not to list popular titles, but to demonstrate intentional selection.

You may choose to create a visual summary of example themes such as friendship, managing anger, empathy, and self confidence to help readers understand the purpose of this requirement without providing a copy-ready list.

Why Social Emotional Skills Matter for Life

Research consistently shows that children with strong social emotional skills experience greater long term success in school and relationships.

These skills support:

• Academic persistence

• Conflict resolution

• Leadership and teamwork

• Mental well being

When educators prioritize feelings first, they are preparing children not just for kindergarten, but for life.

A Final Reflection

Competency III reminds us that teaching is relational.

Before we correct behavior, we connect.Before we discipline, we guide.Before we teach content, we nurture confidence.

When children feel understood, they grow stronger in every area of development.

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About the Author

This article was written by the Elite Team of Educators, a group of experienced early childhood professionals dedicated to supporting educators at every stage of their CDA journey. Our team develops training, coaching, and resources designed to help you grow with confidence, clarity, and purpose.

For more guidance, tips, and real conversations about earning your CDA and strengthening your practice, subscribe to the Elite Educational Enterprises YouTube Channel. We regularly share updates, walkthroughs, and encouragement to support you every step of the way.